A few years ago I decided to make myself a blanket – something warm and cheery for the winter months. Also, unusually for me, I decided not to rush it. So, over the last 3 years I’ve been acquiring wool as memories. There’s wool from holidays on Mull, a visit to the Shetlands, a week on Orkney, a short break to the Cairngorms. There’s squares knitted in Shetland lace patterns, patterns made by the Uni knitter in residence years ago, there’s a Dalek, a Cyberman, K9 and a Tardis. Then, of course, there are two black cats. I have loved making it, and now it’s finished – and I can’t wait for the cold nights so I can spread it out on the bed.
I’ve let my doodling lapse recently – I’ve been busy working, and writing, and worrying. I miss it though – it’s good to switch off for a bit and relax. So I am thrilled that the CLMOOCers are joining up with a sister project, Write Out, for a month of doodles during October. Why not join us?
I’ve stalled. With just under five months till I submit my completed thesis I have run out of steam. I have no time to waste, and so I waste time. I know all of the advice – I have given it many times, but still I pause. My bookshelves are tidied, my yarn is sorted, my fridge is clean.
I still feel that I need to give myself permission to write. I’m framing my thesis as an auto-ethnography because that feels right – it feels authentic – but I still struggle to justify my approach. Maybe I worry that it is not rigorous enough – maybe my background in anglo-analytic philosophy has trained me to privilege an argumentative style over the explanatory … Maybe I need to channel my inner philosopher (note to self: do not channel your inner Deleuze).
Whatever, the time has come. I remind myself of one of my favourite quotes:
“Fool,” said my muse to me. “Look in thy heart and write.”