I was at a loose end. I spotted my pals.
“We’re going to do a Hangout”, they said. “Want to join in?”
I didn’t, really, but I perched at the end of the sofa.
The hangout started. I waved. They angled the laptop screen away from me so I could nearly hear and see what was going on. Not enough to join in, though. I had my knitting, so I got that out. It seemed churlish to move away, so I stayed.
They thought the hangout was deep. Maybe it was. From where I was it was not even shallow – it did not register. I was not included. Look at the photos and you might think I was there, but I heard nothing, saw nothing, said nothing.
Was I there?
Wish this had worked out but it didn’t. There appears to be a difference between connecting and including. And there’s also something about being in-the-moment that we think we are all sharing and are not.
Possibly we haven’t reached a point of real connection yet and can it be blamed on the virtual or is that the obvious culprit? Occurred to me while talking to someone today that she was running a script and that was bad, but worse, I was pretending to listen. Not for politeness, just from the habit of being inattentive or preferring absence to engagement. But I like being alone too.
I think you were there with yourself and that doesn’t fit the social notion of exchange, yet is certainly an authentic state of being. Found a picture the other day, will see if I can send it here.
Yup. I’m sick of pretending.
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Oh Sarah!!
I know. Maha tried to include me, and I love her for that.
Is there a middle ground between lurking and participating maybe “present, but not ready”.
Yes, I think there should be. I flippantly suggested to Maha A the other day that we could be active lurkers. Maybe watching is more active than lurking? At any rate, we need more nuances.